The inability of some people to understand plain English never fails to astound me.
If a man is an ahole at work, it is fault no matter his situation at home, if he lets his woman rule him at home that is his fault and his problem unless the chooses to take it out on his co-workers. If a woman uses sex to control or manipulate her man that is her fault for choosing to be disingenuous and it will eventually be the ruin of her relationship.
I don't think anyone believes that only men should pursue sex. If you go to Tinder or other hook up sites, there are tons of women on there looking for sex.
I think what IS true is there are societal traditions in play. Ladies aren't "suppose" to pursue men. They are to wait til they come to us. Of course this has all changed now but I'm talking bedrock traditional stuff. Also women do tend to want other things first. Men tend to want sex first or very early. Women have less sexual partners than men in general. IOW men have been the traditional pursuers. It's not at all Always that way now but it is our history.
In marriage, it's very common (and a joke staple) that women have lots of headaches. We are just wired differently and libidos are often in different stages in couples lives. Women need romance and a feeling of intimacy security and men just wanna get down. The real answer is we're just different.