I travel a lot for business. During this one time I was able to take my wife and son. I surprised them by getting a hotel and visiting the Great Wolf Lodge. That night I don't know what go into son but he laid there farting like his mother and I could not believe. He smelled like a dead body. We laughed so hard. Even to this day he will bring it up "do you remember me farting?' We laugh at him. Good times!
I have a Doberman with some serious health issues - bad stomach, bad skin, mentally challenged, etc. - I HAVE to feed him Orijen and if I don't, he will make our eyes water. His farts are still bad with Orijen, but so, so much worse without. On top of that I feed him fish oil, so it usually smells like a port in the house, especially at night.
My husband's favorite game when we are in public is to fart and blame me. He's very vocal about it, pointing and laughing and saying "ewwwwww, you're so gross! You smell so bad!" Over the years, I've learned to just go with it...he's ridiculous.
When my youngest was about 8, she had the playdoh like stuff in a plastic jar. When you squished it around it sounded like loud farts. We went to the mall and my older daughter and I walked behind her while she was making the noises in her pocket. People would walk by and then turn around and look at her with this look on their face, like did I really just hear that. We followed her in the the book store and passed the people looking at the magazines. Once she had passed they started talking, did you hear that little girl, that sounded like a man, etc. My daughter and I were crying we were laughing so hard.
In the elevator at the Williams Tower, right after entering on the 2nd floor, headed to the 51st foor, after lunch at Salata and eating half a million cucumbers. It was inventory and unstoppaple, eye burning and totally embarrassing. I tried to pretend it was not me, but I don't think the other 8 people on the elevator bought it.
When I was in high school I tried to show an unbeliever that it was possible to light a fart. I knew it was possible because I had recently discovered this remarkable truth during a sleep-over with a group of friends.
But when demonstrating during this particular solo performance, the blue flame was more like a nebula than a blowtorch. So it lingered long enough to set my underwear on fire. Twas not my finest moment. But from the laughter that followed, it cemented the moment when I knew I became my grandmother's favorite grandson.
One time on a road trip, upstate New York at about 2am I had to crap. I hate pooping in public bathrooms, and highway rest stops are some of the worst. So I walk into one, every stall wants to make me puke, but I find one that looks passable. So I go in, put one of those paper rings on the seat, and sit down. My eyes are now at eye level with the TP dispenser, and as I glance to my right I see a pair of boxer shorts sitting there, and the reason why they were left there. I was overwhelmed with smell, sight, and thoughts and immediately puked all over the floor.
After pulling myself together, and cleaning myself up, I laughed with my wife for an hour driving down the interstate.
A friend went to breakfast before church one Sunday. He let one out but got more than what he was expecting and had to rush to the bathroom. He left his drawers in the trash and had to go comando to chuch. 😯