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Parents: Know What Your Kids Are Doing Online

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whatchamacallit 2
AwesomeTattooedDragon 2
SagaciousSighFiGurl 1
sdanielmcev 3
Prolix Raconteur 1

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SagaciousSighFiGurl (Mod) --- 181 days ago -

An 18 YO Lamar HS kid was gunned down in the streets near his home and school. It seems he had an online persona portraying himself as a gangster type with pics of him holding guns and cash.

He got to fighting online with some kids who actually were gang banger types. They gunned him down in the streets taking his life. His father said he was a quiet rather shy boy who wanted to be seen as strong and powerful, bc he wasn't.

His Father is saying if he'd only known he was getting mixed up with the wrong crowd, he could have intervened.

He's right. We need to know what our kids do online and who they associate with. It can be a super
highway of evil.

18 YO Lamar HS boy killed 

AwesomeTattooedDragon --- 181 days ago -

I couldn't agree more! Especially when you're in an area where gangs are prevalent. Lamar HS is right next to River Oaks, but buses in lots of children from poorer neighborhoods- the R.O. people's kids all go to private schools. It's hard to believe that the father knew nothing about what he son was in to- 

whatchamacallit --- 181 days ago -

I feel so bad for him and his family! This is another example of why 18 should never be considered an adult. Maybe 25 would be closer to reality? 

Prolix Raconteur --- 181 days ago -

Hip Hop culture glorifies violence, drugs, crime, misogyny etc. Everybody wants to be a gangster and creating that persona online is obviously easy to do. Flash a wad of cash and wave your daddy's gun around on instagram and you're there. dumb@$$ actions have real time consequences. 

sdanielmcev --- 181 days ago -

This is another example of why 18 should never be considered an adult. Maybe 25 would be closer to reality? 

Could you explain your rationale here? 13 is consider adult in most cultures. Being an adult does not guarantee responsibility. 

whatchamacallit --- 181 days ago -

Have you had a conversation with an 18 year old American, lately?

I know it's not nice to generalize but the majority of those I have met and interacted with that are in the 15 to 20 range do not employ good judgement just as this poor child did not.

Also, remember in the 50s when people got married right out of high school, had a family right away, etc? Most young people today would never be able to handle that responsibility. Are we regressing instead of progressing?
Understanding the Teen Brain
It doesn't matter how smart teens are or how well they scored on the SAT or ACT. Good judgment isn't something they can excel in, at least not yet.

The rational part of a teen's brain isn't fully developed and won't be until age 25 or so.

In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain's rational part. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Teens process information with the amygdala. This is the emotional part.

In teen’s brains, the connections between the emotional part of the brain and the decision-making center are still developing—and not necessarily at the same rate. That's why when teens experience overwhelming emotional input, they can't explain later what they were thinking. They weren't thinking as much as they were feeling.

What's a parent to do?
You're the most important role model your kids have. Sure, their friends are important to them, but the way you behave and fulfill your responsibilities will have a profound and long-lasting effect on your children.

Discussing the consequences of their actions can help teens link impulsive thinking with facts. This helps the brain make these connections and wires the brain to make this link more often.

Remind your teens that they're resilient and competent. Because they're so focused in the moment, adolescents have trouble seeing they can play a part in changing bad situations. It can help to remind them of times in the past they thought would be devastating, but turned out for the best.

Become familiar with things that are important to your teens. It doesn't mean you have to like hip-hop music, but showing an interest in the things they're involved in shows them they're important to you.

Ask teens if they want you to respond when they come to you with problems, or if they just want you to listen.

Parents tend to jump in with advice to try to fix their children's problems or place blame. But this can make teens less likely to be open with their parents in the future. You want to make it emotionally safe and easy for them to come to you, so you can be part of their lives.

Signs of trouble
It's normal for teens to be down or out of sorts for a couple of days. But if you see a significant mood or behavioral change that lasts more than 2 weeks, it could mean something else is going on, such as depression.

If you think your teen could be depressed, promptly seek professional treatment for your child. Depression is serious and, if left untreated, can be life-threatening.

Your teen needs your guidance, even though they may think they don’t. Understanding their development can help you support them in becoming independent, responsible adults.

Medical Reviewers:

Sather, Rita, RN
Shelat, Amit, MD 

sdanielmcev --- 180 days ago -

Good parenting solves those problems. You bring up kids married at 18, watchie. Many didn't handle it, but for the most part they raised their kids to the best of their ability, and would do so at nearly the same rate today. Yes, with a lot of help from Grampy and Nana. 

sdanielmcev --- 180 days ago -

[i]If you think your teen could be depressed, promptly seek professional treatment for your child.[/i

'Professional' treatment? From a couple that makes money out of getting paid for
giving out said 'treatments'? The nonsense that giving out 'advice', but usually, medication is the problem. The monstrously ignorant idea that these mind control doctors can even comprehend that there is no normal justifies banishment of the psychological ' sciences to the dustbin of medical history. 

AwesomeTattooedDragon --- 180 days ago -

Whatcha, I couldn't agree more- most kids aren't even ready to drive at 18-They're impulse control isn't formed yet- (some kids are old souls at an early age, but that's not the norm-) 

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