A co-worker of my youngest told her that her parents asked her to go on vacation with them, but she was afraid they were going to make her pay her way. Is that what most people do? 

How old are we talking? 

My youngest is 24. I know that one of my older daughter's friends said she had to pay when they went on vacation and that was when they were in college. i think I would go somewhere cheaper, rather than make them pay. 

I would guess that it would depend on each family's financial situation.

I would think after becoming an adult (18) and out of high school, each person should pay their own way, but then again some famliy's do huge vacations together and the parents pay the bill. Just depends.

It was really weird, the first time I went with my husbands family was to California for a wedding. His parents insisted on paying for the flight (they used mileage points). It was just weird, as an adult, to have someone else pay for my ticket. 

Maybe it depends on the financial status of the parents? When our family does group vacations, we always have to had to pay our own way, since we were adults. If someone has a bad financial issue but wants to go, someone, either the folks or a sibling MAY step up and help out or the person with the issue may not get to go. It has never been a given that the folks would pay for everyone to go.

However, it does seem to be very normal for well off parents to pay for everything when adult kids and grand kids go with them on vacation. 

While our kids are still in college we pay for family vacations. If they choose to vacation with friends and not with us, then they should pay for that themselves. When our kids are out of college and un-established we still pay when they vacation with us even if they are married. They may need to pay for some of their activities and eating out at this point. 

it does seem to be very normal for well off parents to pay for everything when adult kids and grand kids go with them on vacation.

That's what I want, parents that spend some of the money having fun with their kids and grandkids. 

That's what I want, parents that spend some of the money having fun with their kids and grandkids.?


It seems like it should be that way!

There are some grandparents that are not really interested in spending time or money with their children or even their grand children. 

We are going away with our adult children. We are meeting up and staying with family. They are paying there way to get there. But we will plan on paying for dinners, fun things etc. They can pay for souvenirs and other junk. IOW I won't be hearing "Can I have an ice cream?!" 

At 24 I'd probably at least pay airfare and hotel for my kid. I hope that we are taking vacations that would involve like a beach house or boat rental or whatever, so it's one big fee and everyone stays for that fee. Our family now (both mine with my kids) and DH's with siblings are big, so we try to find the most cost effective way as it is. 

We took a family trip to Cozumel (cruise) which was a gift from us to our children and their children. 14 in all, we were able to pay for everything and they all had a wonderful time!!!
7 adults and 7 children in all 

Susan --- 24 min ago - quote - hide comments
We took a family trip to Cozumel (cruise) which was a gift from us to our children and their children. 14 in all, we were able to pay for everything and they all had a wonderful time!!!
7 adults and 7 children in all?



Awesome! Want to adopt an old Grandma (Babysitter) to take along next time! lol 

We always pay for the vacation. We get free airfare since my husband travels so much for work, so that helps. We try to do VRBO whenever possible. We went to Costa Rica at Christmas time and had to rent two hotel rooms the entire time we were there. That really stung! Of course, when I got there and saw where most of the houses were, I was glad that I was in a hotel. 

My beach house rental is primarily booked by parents for their entire family. I think mom and dad pay the rental and the kids chip in for food and probably pay for other things. Sometimes, the families do share the cost but it is rare. If I take my son on vacation or a family thing, we pay. If he goes on his own he pays. 

The last real vacation I went on with my family was several years ago. I was in my mid 20s and my parents paid for all 6 of us to go on the European cruise (25, 24, 24, 11). They used miles for a lot of it and me, my brother and sister in law each chipped in a part of what was not covered by points.

This summer I will be going to Peru on a mission trip for two weeks and then to Scotland for a week as a graduation trip with a friend. My parents are covering both flights for me with points. The rest of my Peru trip is being scholarshiped and I am paying for my own hotel in Scotland. I will have to pay for all food and incidentals on the trips.

My dad flys a lot for business and he is usually willing to pay for flights and hotels for us using those points especially now that we don't go on big family vacations anymore. 

It's weird that you are going to those two places. My youngest did an internship in Scotland for three months last fall and my oldest went over during Thanksgiving. She and her sister are talking about going to Peru in July. They just told us this week they were thinking about going. My girls have been all over Europe and always stay at hostels. They said they stayed at a hostel in Scotland one night and felt like they could have been in a slasher movie! lol The people who owned it were gone and had a friend check them in and then just left them. 

In my family, once you were out of college, you were off the payroll. Why shouldn't a grown adult pay their own way? 

I think if the parents are the ones planning the trip and want to pay for their children as a gift why shouldn't they. If they can't afford or don't want to that should be their choice as well.

Large family trips are wonderful and create a lifetime of memories. I hope we will always have those times and trips together. 

I think if the parents are the ones planning the trip and want to pay for their children as a gift why shouldn't they


I agree tut. When my parents plan family trips, they always pay. No matter how often any of us have tried to pay our own way, my dad absolutely won't hear of it. We are the same with our children. Only have one out of the house so far, but he goes with on our family vacations and we pay. So much fun to have the whole family together. Great memories. 

I'm 24 and my parents invited me to go to mexico with them this summer, but I'm paying my way. I would never expect them to pay my way for a vacation. 

We bought our kids and grand kids a trip to Disney for Christmas. But any extras they want to do like, going to see the dolphin winter and snorkeling, well that's on them, we paid for the resort stay and three day pass to Disney. 

It just depends on the family. Because I was doing ok at 24 I paid for my mom to take a vacation - it was a gift to her.

Other times she wanted to pay and well since she lived on a fixed income we would let her pay but then found a way to pay her back.

It just depends on the family and their situation. 

If it is a gift, people give whatever kind of gift they want to and can afford and have in their heart to do.

For some people a vacation with their grown children is a very high priority and it is what they want to do and they want to pay for it.

As seen on this thread, others work out arrangements where they can all spend time together but share the expenses.

Others may just say, "hey, we are going on a trip and if you are available and would like to join us, it would be fun to do it together" and not intend to pay the way. Just like if you were inviting friends to come along.

There really isn't anyway that it is "supposed" to be done. Just know what the expectation on the financial upfront to avoid misunderstandings. It is nice that anyone wants to spend time together as a family. 

I invited my parents on a trip a few years ago. I knew they would never accept if I said I'd be paying for everything... So I started the conversation and invitation off like this..."We're going on vacation and would like for you both to join us if you like... We'll cover the cost of the car and two hotel rooms if you guys think you can get your airfare" (the airfare was the cheapest part of the entire trip). They agreed to that. I would like for someone to approach me in a similar manner because it politely gets everything out in the open and gives your guests the opportunity to decline if necessary.
That's just my preference though. 

A co-worker of my youngest told her that her parents asked her to go on vacation with them, but she was afraid they were going to make her pay her way. Is that what most people do?

In this situation,she needs to just ask her parents upfront how much her costs will be and if she can't afford it, just be upfront. The parents can decide if they are in a position to fund it or not. No big deal either way. There is nothing wrong with her parents inviting her and not being able to fund her portion, and there is nothing wrong with her declining their invite if she can't afford it or would rather not spend her money on it.

I agree with slider. 

Yes. I make them pay dearly. 

I guess every family is different. I agree, she just needs to ask for the details.

I know a guy who took his girl friend on a trip to Alaska. A few weeks after the trip he asked her to pay him for her plane ticket. It was a very awkward situation that should have been discussed before the trip. She had no idea that she was to pay her own way. Luckily it wasn't a financial hardship for her to reimburse him. (They went with the guys dad and he paid for the other parts of the trip, otherwise I guess she would have gotten the bill for that too.) The guy isn't the greatest at communication and needless to say, they aren't together anymore! 

I know a guy who took his girl friend on a trip to Alaska. A few weeks after the trip he asked her to pay him for her plane ticket.

A man should not ask his girl friend to go on vacation with him if he can not afford to pay her way. He should have at the least told her up front before she went on vacation with him.

When I was dating, a million years ago, the men I dated did not do that kind of stuff. 

Sounds like I'm doing it all wrong...

My son is in college working on his Masters, after that he is going for PhD (Psychology). I'm still paying for everything; tuition, books, rent, food, gas, spending money, health insurance, car insurance - basically anything that involves money! The plan is to get his PhD and not have any student loans. 

Sicilian....

Parenting. You're doing it right!!!

When we go on vacations with family, everyone pays their share.

For example, we went to Disneyworld with my husband's sister and her husband, and his best friend.

We paid for the week long rental house and tickets (military discount) and his sister paid for all the food in the house and his best friend paid for food inside the park.
It worked out to everyone's benefit.
We actually ended up with the better deal because with five kids, we eat a lot!!! 

Sicilian, I hope it works out for you after finishes school. My nephew just got his master and has a job he loves, but he makes peanuts. I admire people who can stick with psychology and make a difference in people's lives.