Okay, I have a very senior relative who I love. He was rather late to the party when it comes to the internet.

He sends me and everyone in his address list, (it seems anyway) several of those email forwards that everyone got back 10 years ago. You know the ones with the racy pictures, the warnings that turn out to be urban legends, conspiracy theory ones, anti Obama stuff..you know what I'm talking about.

Usually, I just sort of groan and delete. It is just stuff he got from one of his old frat buddies that he has stayed in touch with for a 100 years and just harmless, tired old stuff even if it is sometimes in bad taste.

Tonight I received one from him that was about Sheila Jackson Lee that was very racist. It was also untrue as these email forwards often are, but that is beside the point.

He is my relative by marriage on the husband's side. But my sister just adopted a precious child last year that happens to be black. He knows this and has spent time with this child and knows what he means to our family.

It hurt my feelings that he would send me a "joke" making fun of black people and their culture knowing that our family has embraced this little boy as our own, yet very aware that he is of a different race. We know there will be discussions about keeping this child's identity intact and all that goes with that in our future and don't pretend otherwise.

I am now debating if I should ignore his email to me as I always do with him, or should I speak up and tell him that I do not appreciate his insensitivity in sending me that when he has to know (or should know) I would not be laughing.

I am by no means a fan of SJL and my feelings have nothing to do with her. Just the idea that he would send me such a blatantly racist email painting a whole culture with one broad brush that has me irked.

I know if I speak up he will be embarrassed, become defensive, and drama will follow. 

I would ignore if is a relative...especially if is a senior. 

I would ignore if is a relative...especially if is a senior.

*Sigh* That is probably wise.

I suppose just getting it off my chest on KU helped, lol. I never expected to feel so protective of this little guy, and he has certainly changed my outlook on a lot of things. 

Very senior? As in post-80? Let it go. That age gets a free pass on just about everything. 

Is a good thing Leila! We all change our look on life as we live it, hopefully in a good way. 

But you could send him your most precious pics of your little guy. That would have the biggest impact, but would cause zero bad blood between you. 

Yes WIP, how I feel about some things... 

Leila some grew up in a time we will never understand, and as time goes by some will say the same of ours. It is as it is... 

Very senior? As in post-80? Let it go. That age gets a free pass on just about everything.

Well, maybe not very senior, mid 70's. Very active and spends a lot of time with me and my family as well (because he lives alone). He is just a little on the self absorbed side, but he probably gets a pass on that too, lol. 

I received one from him that was about Sheila Jackson Lee that was very racist.

How does something directed at one person become making fun of black people and their culture? 

How does something directed at one person become making fun of black people and their culture?

Surely you aren't that naive. While it was making fun of something SJL supposedly said, it went on to elaborate using black stereotypes and make fun of them.

I don't feel a need to explain that any further than that. Either take my word for it or don't. 

Surely you aren't that naive.

Has nothing to do with being naive. You said nothing about "using black stereotypes and make fun of them." 

Just ignore them. They were brought up in a different time. He isnt going to change. Just ignore and delete. No since causing drama. Hes old and sometimes you just have to let them get away with things. He probable doesn't even understand that its hurtful. 

Oh and ignore Jacobson who will make this what you never meant it to be...lol Right Love? 

^^amen to that^^ 

I would just ignore it. He may not have even read it. He probably just saw the SJL and forwarded it. I am sure he didn't mean to insult you or hurt the child. 

The delete button quiets a lot angst. 

Oh butter, there is someone i receive e-mails from at work that most often never get opened. I work in a man's world but oft am included in their fun, i mostly delete, lol... 

At least I make sense mutton, which you seem to have a problem accomplishing. 

I would ignore this email, unless he continues to send racist messages. I think it is possible he just fwd'ed it without reading it.

Otherwise, you could always send him a fwd'ed message about embracing other cultures or whatever. 

patton oswalt on old people  

Very senior? As in post-80? Let it go. That age gets a free pass on just about everything.

Moderators please take note of this advice the next time you decide to "ice" me for making a comment about JL.

Signed: "81 going on 18" 

I don't see what the child being black has anything to do with the email. Stop getting offended over non-sense. Geesh 

I understand your feelings. My daddy and his wife adopted from Haiti. You feel protective and it seems your relative should realize you wouldn't find his email humorous. You are in a situation now where suddenly see and hear things that you may not have even paid much attention to before. You are more sensitive.

But you will get thicker skin about it. You can't change people's ways of seeing the world and even though people should consider each others feelings before they tell a mean joke or whatever, it isn't going to happen. In some ways we are probably all guilty. I know I am.

Saying something to your relative won't do that either. Just keep including him in your family activities and let him be around this new member of your family. I learned that a lot of times people's attitudes and prejudices change when they are exposed to situations and people that challenge the stereotypes they had in their head. Maybe your relative is too old to change but maybe not. 

I get what you're talking about with all the emails. My dad forwards me a ton of stuff, I'm talking about 10 at a time including the ones I think of as chain mail that said you have to forward it to hundreds of people or bad things will happen to you. And he only sends the choice ones to me, which makes me afraid to think of how many email he gets a day! I have a seperate folder in my email that has tons of unread emails from my dad that I haven't gotten around to yet.

I would let him know it is offensive and remind him of the new addition to your family.

OR you can do what my husband did to an aunt of mine - block his email. 

Oregonian! You are 81? I did not guess that. Awesome. 

81 in March if God doesn't want me and the devil doesn't either.

Thanks for asking WIP.... 

I would say just let it go and give em a pass.

As far a SJL goes, she is pretty much as worthless as Sharpton Jackson and that whole mess of race pimps that pervert the truth.

Yeah yeah, no some libertard here is gonna cry Ray YOU RACIST..

Lets count down...5 4 3 2 1....whom will it be? 

I think they don't realize how offensive some of the stuff they say is to others. They were raised during a different time and things, right or wrong, were said. I grew up hearing everyone talk about Ntown. I never thought it was offensive, that is just what I had always heard that part of town called. I'm sure he thinks it is funny, thinks you will get a laugh and never gives a thought that you might be uncomfortable getting the email. 

with SJL, her blackness is her only redeeming quality. The rest of her needs to be made fun of. 

I don't care how old he is, it's unacceptable- I'd tell him not to send me those things, you find them offensive- 

I'd tell him not to send me those things, you find them offensive-

[sarcasm]That's something really tremendously important to cause conflict with a relative.[/sarcasm] 

Just drop it... Life's too short 

He is just a little on the self absorbed side, but he probably gets a pass on that too, lol.

This seems to be the norm for the seniors in my and my friends' lives. 

Has nothing to do with being naive. You said nothing about "using black stereotypes and make fun of them."

The following quotes are taken from OPs post.

"Tonight I received one from him that was about Sheila Jackson Lee that was very racist."

"It hurt my feelings that he would send me a "joke" making fun of black people and their culture knowing that our family has embraced this little boy as our own, yet very aware that he is of a different race."

Don't be stupid Jacob. 

Please love. If this man is sending inappropriate emails to you, stand up and just tell him. Don't be a chicken. Just be polite about it. Don't be mean. If you don't say something it will continue. Be lady like about it. Tell him in a short paragraph how you feel and be done with it. You will feel so much better. Good luck sweetie. Trust me it will work out for the better if you are straight up. 

I would ignore if is a relative - especially if is a senior.
I would ignore if is a relative - especially if is a senior.
I would ignore if is a relative - especially if is a senior.  

The following quotes are taken from OPs post.

Maybe you should understand what you are posting. 

Always the last irrelevant word as usual "J"? 

Always the last irrelevant word as usual "J"?

Nah, I think you have that covered, as usual.