So I know someone who recently sent her niece a check for her 13th Birthday. Right after she sent it, she got an invite to contribute to the child's college fund as a Bday gift.

What's strange (at least in my opinion) is the couple is wealthy. Mom is an attorney tho not working and stays home. Dad is a company executive very high up. The Mom inherited 2 million dollar a few years ago so tho she isn't working, you know they have that.

My friend really doesn't want to contribute to the college fund bc the child isn't going to enjoy that at this age. This time it doesn't matter bc she sent the money gift before she got the "suggestion" to give to a college fund. But the invite read as tho it would be for the future Bdays too.


What would you do? If she doesn't contribute, she feels as though she will go against the wishes of the parents. If she does it, she does it begrudgingly bc she does not think its a gift the child can even enjoy and is more of a gift to the parents at this point.

It seems the Go Fund Me mentality has a whole new
effect on us? Is contributing to a college fund for kids from very well to do families a thing now??
I wouldn't do it myself but I understand my friend is in a weird spot. It's NOT the parents place to direct other people how to give gifts?

I would have no problem with this if the family actually needed money for college. But these people can't possibly be in need. They even have 2 residences, kid goes to an elite private school... Seems so weird to ask for money IMO. 

I agree with you. I don't think it was very nice to make the suggestion. Since she already sent some money that is enough. 

It's how rich people stay rich. And, no, I don't agree with it. 

I tend to agree with you. I will add that I think its tacky and declasse.

My go fund me for college was part time jobs,my parents and the Navy. 

Here's what's really annoying IMO. You CAN go to college and do it with some form of affordability bc well it's gotten ridiculous as far as most people being able to swing it. You can do 2 years at juco and it cuts your bill in half..and then finish at a university. Kids don't need to leave home to go to a named and famous school just to say they did. It's time to live within your means and change your values to reflect it.

These people would never consider sending their kid to a juco and doing it on the cheap bc only the best universities will do. Yet they are asking people to contribute to the fund?

What's more, this kid is a stellar student. If she keeps up at this pace academically, she's gonna have them begging HER to go to their school. It's called scholarships and she will get many.

I just don't get people. 

Not everyone will have the same sense of morality, fair play or common decency. We always get disappointed when we expect people to behave as we would. I have low expectations of people. 

Idk. I guess I feel Go Find Me type accounts should be for things that you actually aren't able to pay for....unusual circumstances like sickness, accidents, traumas...deaths leaving families in a bind...

To live like these folks do but they take donations for college is so off putting.

But there's another circumstance I heard of where a guy's wife passed from cancer and at the funeral he asked for donations to pay for her burial instead of flowers. But he bought a big house and property a week later....life insurance maybe but really, you ask others to help pay to bury her?


Oy 

Its tacky and in poor taste. 

I think it's just greed at the core. Like you want your money for big houses and new Beemers but college, that's not fun enough. Lol! 

I've always lived by the philosophy of live well below your means. Have no more debt than 3 months of income. 

Rude! If someone wants to contribute, it should be their idea. Young children don't care about a college fund, they aren't interested in much that's further away than tomorrow! They want something fun and something they can use and enjoy now.
To a child, college seems like it will be in a different lifetime.

This reminds me, people, don't give your significant other something they NEED for Christmas! Not a new washer and dryer, not a vacuum, not something for their vehicle, unless they ask for that kind of stuff! To me, Christmas should be about the unexpected and giving things that you know the person would never buy for themselves, not time to upgrade your home appliances! 

Amen to that, sister! 

Tatt, you should talk!! No one loves a new vacuum more than you! LOL 

Yes I do!! But I'm not a typical woman! Most others would prefer jewelry! 

Most others would prefer jewelry! 


nope. i prefer practical these days. 

"I prefer practical"


What would that be? 

I'd like a new refrigerator, too- 

Then, again, I'm not married, so there's no SO to surprise me- 

Maybe the Girl already has everything? I mean if they are wealthy they probably have provided her with more than enough and thought a practical gift of college might be more fitting? Playing Devil's Advocate here. College tuition (only)cost are more than $40K and it is nearly impossible to finish in 4 years. That is just tuition. Add room and board and books that average $200 per book. It will be more than astronomical by the time she starts 5-6 years from now.

But yes, tacky. No one should ask for gifts unless it is to be given to charity. Otherwise it is just greedy. Give what you want. Give from the heart.