[Editor's note: Every Wednesday New York City's own Andrew W.K. takes your life questions, and sets you safely down the right path to a solution, a purpose or -- no surprise here -- a party. Need his help? Just ask: AskAWK@villagevoice.com]
Hi Andrew,

I'm writing because I just can't deal with my father anymore. He's a 65-year-old super right-wing conservative who has basically turned into a total asshole intent on ruining our relationship and our planet with his politics. I'm more or less a liberal democrat with very progressive values and I know that people like my dad are going to destroy us all. I don't have any good times with him anymore. All we do is argue. When I try to spend time with him without talking politics or discussing any current events, there's still an underlying tension that makes it really uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I love him no matter what, but how do I explain to him that his politics are turning him into a monster, destroying the environment, and pushing away the people who care about him?

Thanks for your help,
Son of A Right-Winger

See also: Ask Andrew W.K.: My Boyfriend Treats Me Badly

Dear Son of A Right-Winger,

Go back and read the opening sentences of your letter. Read them again. Then read the rest of your letter. Then read it again. Try to find a single instance where you referred to your dad as a human being, a person, or a man. There isn't one. You've reduced your father -- the person who created you -- to a set of beliefs and political views and how it relates to you. And you don't consider your dad a person of his own standing -- he's just "your dad." You've also reduced yourself to a set of opposing views, and reduced your relationship with him to a fight between the two. The humanity has been reduced to nothingness and all that's left in its place is an argument that can never really be won. And even if one side did win, it probably wouldn't satisfy the deeper desire to be in a state of inflamed passionate conflict.

The world isn't being destroyed by democrats or republicans, red or blue, liberal or conservative, religious or atheist -- the world is being destroyed by one side believing the other side is destroying the world. The world is being hurt and damaged by one group of people believing they're truly better people than the others who think differently. The world officially ends when we let our beliefs conquer love. We must not let this happen.

When we lump people into groups, quickly label them, and assume we know everything about them and their life based on a perceived world view, how they look, where they come from, etc., we are not behaving as full human beings. When we truly believe that some people are monsters, that they fundamentally are less human than we are, and that they deserve to have less than we do, we ourselves become the monsters. When we allow our emotions to be hypnotized by the excitement of petty bickering about seemingly important topics, we drift further and further away from the fragile and crucial human bond holding everything together. When we anticipate with ferocious glee the next chance we have to prove someone "wrong" and ourselves "right," all the while disregarding the vast complexity of almost every subject -- not to mention the universe as a whole -- we are reducing the beauty and magic of life to a "side" or a "type," or worst of all, an "answer." This is the power of politics at it's most sinister.

At its best, politics is able to organize extremely complex world views into manageable and communicable systems so they can be grappled with and studied abstractly. But even the most noble efforts to organize the world are essentially futile. The best we can usually achieve is a crude and messy map of life from one particular vantage point, featuring a few grids, bullet points, and sketches of its various aspects and landmarks. Anything as infinitely complex as life, reality, and the human experience can never be summed up or organized in a definitive system, especially one based on "left or right," "A or B," "us or them." This is the fatal flaw of binary thinking in general. However, this flaw isn't just ignored, it's also embraced, amplified, and deliberately used as a weapon on the very people who think it's benefiting their way of thinking.

Human beings crave order and simplicity. We cling to the hope that some day, if we really refine our world view and beliefs, we can actually find the fully correct way to think -- the absolute truth and final side to stand on. People and systems craving power take advantage of this desire and pit us against each other using a "this or that" mentality. The point is to create unrest, disagreement, resentment, and anger -- a population constantly at war with itself, each side deeply believing that the other is not just wrong, but also a sincere threat to their very way of life and survival. This creates constant anxiety and distraction -- the perfect conditions for oppression. The goal of this sort of politics is to keep people held down and mesmerized by a persistent parade of seemingly life-or-death debates, each one worth all of our emotional energy and primal passion.

But the truth is, the world has always been and always will be on the brink of destruction. And what keeps it from actually imploding is our love for life and our deep-seeded desire not to die. Our love for our own life is inextricably connected to our love of all life and the miracle of this phenomenon we call "the world." We must give all of ourselves credit every day for keeping things going. It's an incredible achievement to exist at all.

So we must protect and respect each other, no matter how hard it feels. No matter how wrong someone else may seem to us, they are still human. No matter how bad someone may appear, they are truly no worse than us. Our beliefs and behavior don't make us fundamentally better than others, no matter how satisfying it is to believe otherwise. We must be tireless in our efforts to see things from the point of view we most disagree with. We must make endless efforts to try and understand the people we least relate to. And we must at all times force ourselves to love the people we dislike the most. Not because it's nice or because they deserve it, but because our own sanity and survival depends on it. And if we do find ourselves pushed into a corner where we must kill others in order to survive, we must fully accept that we are killing people just as fully human as ourselves, and not some evil abstract creatures.

Love your dad because he's your father, because he made you, because he thinks for himself, and most of all because he is a person. Have the strength to doubt and question what you believe as easily as you're so quick to doubt his beliefs. Live with a truly open mind -- the kind of open mind that even questions the idea of an open mind. Don't feel the need to always pick a side. And if you do pick a side, pick the side of love. It remains our only real hope for survival and has more power to save us than any other belief we could ever cling to.

Your friend,
Andrew W.K. 

Sorry about the language. 

Great post! Love it! :) 

forget the language- that's the best thread ever, on KU- 

the world is being destroyed by one side believing the other side is destroying the world.

Absolute nonsense. So is most of the rest of the post. 

that's the best thread ever, on KU-

LOL. 

Wow, I like this Andrew fella!!!!

The world isn't being destroyed by democrats or republicans, red or blue, liberal or conservative, religious or atheist -- the world is being destroyed by one side believing the other side is destroying the world. The world is being hurt and damaged by one group of people believing they're truly better people than the others who think differently. The world officially ends when we let our beliefs conquer love. We must not let this happen

I think this every time I read the bickering threads over politics and religion and the way everyone points fingers, calls names and judges each others beliefs and values. He finally put it into the right words. 

Perfect! Thanks Wicked! 

I think this Andrew guy must be related to Joel Olsteen. Forget that the world is falling apart before our eyes, just love one another and doves shall fly everywhere and peace will reign.

I don't know. I'm just another person that probably just sticks their head in the sand but I don't think I stick it that far.

The world is on fire and no one is going to do a thing until it shows up on their own doorstep.

That's the reality of things. 

Kumbaya! 

The sentence with the descriptor "right winged A hole" is redundant. Is there any other right winger?
They took us to the brink in the last administration and wear blinders of hate in posturing in the house as lawmakers. Most see through it. 

wear blinders of hate in posturing in the house as lawmakers

I'm not sure I know what that means.

Do you mind elaborating? 

"The sentence with the descriptor "right winged A hole" is redundant. Is there any other right winger?
They took us to the brink in the last administration and wear blinders of hate in posturing in the house as lawmakers. Most see through it. "



The same can be applied to your Sheeple. 

The sentence with the descriptor "right winged A hole" is redundant. Is there any other right winger?
They took us to the brink in the last administration and wear blinders of hate in posturing in the house as lawmakers. Most see through it.

 

Love the article. 

I thought the article was great. He was trying to make the questioner realize that the relationship has been damaged because of politics. I think social media has created monsters out of some of us. There seems to be no filter with some people. They just make hateful remarks to others as if these sites have robots sitting at their computer screens. People really do get hurt by others comments. There should be no place for name calling and belittling and I'm as guilty as the next guy. If we were all at a gathering, would we treat each other this way? I think not. Social media can be very unhealthy at times. Regardless of how you react to this article, I don't think this guys message was to further divide, but I do think his message was spot on. I'm not sure all of us have interpreted it the same. But then, everything is open to interpretation. 

I think his message was that life is too short to let something as ultimately meaningless as someone's political beliefs get in the way of family relationships.

Doesn't surprise me that so many here missed it. 

He was trying to make the questioner realize that the relationship has been damaged because of politics.

The article is nonsense. The problem with our country is the turning of its back to God. 

Jake, I don't think you're a disease; I think you're a mental disorder. 

The article is nonsense. The problem with our country is the turning of its back to God.

You cannot possibly have your finger on the pulse of the country in such a way as to make a statement like that.

Your opinion is yours to have, but, to state that the differing of opinions between citizens of our FREE country is somehow affected by an obsession, or lack of obsession with God is, at the very least, narrow minded.

You do religion a disservice when you dismiss an opinion that is different than yours and base it on religion. You can disagree, but to dismiss makes you just as intolerant as those that you profess to have turned their backs on God.

Hypocrite lately? 

I do not understand who has instilled in Jacobson, that lack of sympathy and empathy. I always wanted to believe that some religions, taught us those two virtues but some really lack those teachings. Jacobson has no respect or understanding of my beliefs which is so narrow minded. It is sad. I feel sorry for him. 

"I think this Andrew guy must be related to Joel Olsteen."







LOL! Yes, let's promote hate and mistreatment of others to advance humanity. Lol 

Jake, I don't think you're a disease; I think you're a mental disorder.

I think you need to look at the title of Michael Savage's book and spend some time reading it.

to state that the differing of opinions between citizens of our FREE country is somehow affected by an obsession, or lack of obsession with God is, at the very least, narrow minded.

Yes, it's the narrow-minded truth.

You do religion a disservice when you dismiss an opinion that is different than yours and base it on religion.

Incorrect statement. I don't base any of my statements upon religion, and I have no problem doing a perceived disservice to religion.

Hypocrite lately?

It's very obvious that you are using a word that you don't understand the meaning of.

Jacobson has no respect or understanding of my beliefs which is so narrow minded.

God only respects His belief and His truth. I believe God.

Being narrow-minded to the truth is a virtue.

Respecting incorrect teachings/beliefs isn't showing sympathy or empathy.

Don't feel sad for me. I'm not on the wrong side of God, so I'm doing great. 

Great thread. The sooner the old hate mongers are dead the better 

Jacobson has no respect for your beliefs?..You mean the post where u advocated burning down police officer's home and the police station in the Fergersen riot tread? Ouch! Checkmate! 

The sooner the old hate mongers are dead the better

you probably need to read it again... 

Yes, it's the narrow-minded truth.

Nope...it's your narrow minded opinion. Truth lies in the eyes of the beholder...


Incorrect statement. I don't base any of my statements upon religion, and I have no problem doing a perceived disservice to religion.

Ok...so is it your opinion that one can embrace God without embracing religion?

It's very obvious that you are using a word that you don't understand the meaning of.

Nope...it's very obvious you don't agree. Just because you do not agree does not mean it wasn't used correctly within the context of my post. You don't agree that you are being a hypocrite. I think you are. Difference of opinion. Nowhere was the word used incorrectly. 

Nope...it's your narrow minded opinion. Truth lies in the eyes of the beholder...

No, you are incorrect. The truth lies with God. It's not my opinion.

Ok...so is it your opinion that one can embrace God without embracing religion?

No, not my opinion. The truth.

Nowhere was the word used incorrectly.

Yes, it was absolutely being used incorrectly. I didn't say one thing and act in a different way. 

Jacobson has no respect for your beliefs?..You mean the post where u advocated burning down police officer's home and the police station in the Fergersen riot tread? Ouch! Checkmate!


Oh, I see. Obviously, you did not read the several times, I clarified in my posts that I did not agree with it, or would I do the same. I was saying, I understood why they were upset and doing it. That is wrong on so many levels...and I also stated this group of people doing it, most likely are very disadvantaged and have nothing..but hate, so it does not surprise me. I never said it was right......Interpretation I guess. 

I was saying, I understood why they were upset and doing it.

Then you are tolerating their behavior. 

Jacobson. One question. What do you think of my beliefs....or lack of believing in your god? I hope I'm wrong...but right now, in my life...I'm ok with what I believe. Why are you not ok with what I believe? I'm really making an honest effort to figure out what makes you tick. 

Understanding something does not mean you have to tolerate it. What is your solution to these rioters? National Guard? Guns? Bombs? Just what would you do? Or better yet, what would Jesus do? 

I totally agree..You read your post on the riot and wonder if you should be on the Weather Underground..and then say at you don't agree with riot....I can see where Jacob gets confused on where u stand 

Ouch 

No, you are incorrect. The truth lies with God. It's not my opinion.

No, you are incorrect. The truth lies in the eye of the beholder.


No, not my opinion. The truth.

No...not truth..your opinion.

Yes, it was absolutely being used incorrectly. I didn't say one thing and act in a different way.

Nope...not truth...your opinion. The word was spelled correctly, used in context, and contained an interpretation that you disagree with. Doesn't mean it was used wrong or that I don't know what it means. Want to keep picking apart my posts sentence by sentence? I got all day. 

Why are you not ok with what I believe?

Because God wants you to become one of His children and spend eternity in heaven with Him. Because I love God, I want what God wants. 

The truth lies in the eye of the beholder.

Absolutely incorrect. There is only one truth, not millions of truths.


Nope...not truth...your opinion.

Once again, you are wrong. Not my opinion. I didn't author it.

The word was spelled correctly, used in context, and contained an interpretation that you disagree with.

It's still obvious that you don't know what the word "hypocrite" means. 

Sigh...
 

Absolutely incorrect. There is only one truth, not millions of truths.

Absolutely incorrect. There are millions of opinions and yours is but one. Not here to tell you whether your opinion is right or wrong. The only wrong is the belief that others cannot believe differently than you. Not only wrong, but intolerant.

Once again, you are wrong. Not my opinion. I didn't author it.


If you need someone to script your responses, opinions or truth, then you need to quit posturing as if they are yours.

It's still obvious that you don't know what the word "hypocrite" means.

What's obvious is the truth. My truth is my opinion. My opinion is that you're the biggest hypocrite on KU. Not only that, your sanctimonious attitude is a turn off to those who might be on the fence regarding God. BTW...Websters defines sanctimonious as: making a hypocritical show of religious devotion, piety, righteousness, etc.

Whoops....there's that word again. 

There are millions of opinions and yours is but one.

I didn't say opinions. I said truth. Please pay attention.

Believing God's Word is not my opinion.

If you need someone to script your responses, opinions or truth, then you need to quit posturing as if they are yours.

Your statement is nonsense. Apparently you didn't pay attention to "I didn't author it." That is definitely me not posturing as if it were mine.

My opinion is that you're the biggest hypocrite on KU.

Since you don't know what "hypocrite" means, how could you even have an opinion on it?

your sanctimonious attitude is a turn off to those who might be on the fence regarding God

How would you know what effect I have on others by what I say to others? How would you know if they are "on the fence"? You don't because you aren't God.

It is also apparent that you don't understand what "sanctimonious" means. Quoting the dictionary doesn't mean you understand it. Your application of the word proves that you don't.