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Possible Child Abuse And What To Do

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RoseSr 1
SleightOfHand 1
Warren Peace 1
AwesomeTattooedDragon 3
Gigix4 3
*LOL* 3
It is I WhyWhyWhy 1
Dorothy Parker 2
Tera 4
RushJunkie 1
SagaciousSighFiGurl 8
Miss Understanding 1
Joe Blow 3
esquala 1
TinktheSprite 1
sheddy 1
PokerFace 1
waterfall 1
Judas 2
a889324uu 6
Butterbean 2
Prolix Raconteur 1
mutton 2
You can call me Michelle 5
AMDG 4
a4947438uu 1
them 12
Zapper009 1
Pixtor 3

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SagaciousSighFiGurl (Mod) --- 6 years ago -

I don't know why I said "possible." In my judgment it WAS.

Scenario:I was at the exercise facility at my apartment. I was in there alone, no one else around. In comes a young woman with a young toddler, maybe 2-3 YO. after a couple minutes, he says he has to poop. She waits and doesn't take him right away. He starts telling her he cant hold it anymore. She then takes him to the bathroom and leaves him there for like 10 minutes.It could have been longer. I was wondering WHY she felt comfortable leaving him in there alone for so long alone. She finally goes back in there and I hear her yelling. Then I hear her hitting him. Yes, I heard it. several slaps that were HARD. Kid starts screaming, more hitting. I get off my machine and look down the hallway to see if I can see them. I cant. Its a few rooms down a short hall way. I hear him crying and am very uncomfortable. She's yelling. He's crying. I have no idea what to do. I just felt like I couldn't go busting in there accusing her. I feel it was a mistake NOW. When they walked out, she was carrying his clothes, (he obviously pooped his pants) and his legs were red with marks.

What should I do? She lives here, I can find out her name. I can call CPS. Im just tepid about ruining someone's life by reporting her but I clearly think that was abusive. She should have never left him alone in there to do whatever he did. And whatever he did, was most likely very normal for a child that age with NO supervision.
I regret not confronting her. I was worried for the kid but concerned that butting into her business was crossing a line. UGH UGH UGH. But hitting a little kid that hard tells me she is probably doing that routinely AND if you can do that, you are most likely devoid of proper parenting skills.

I think calling CPS is warranted. What would you do? 

Prolix Raconteur --- 6 years ago -

Call CPS. Raising kids has it's frustrations, but that kind of abuse isn't warranted ever. If she does that in public, imagine what she does in her own apartment. If there's no history of abuse, she'll likely not have the child removed from the home, but will certainly be on the CPS radar for follow ups. If there's a history of abuse, the child needs to be someplace else. 

*LOL* --- 6 years ago -

I couldn't live with myself if I thought a child was being harmed and I didn't do whatever I thought was right. 

SagaciousSighFiGurl (Mod) --- 6 years ago -

Well, it was in the bathroom, I couldn't see it but hearing it was no problem. I have problems being assertive and it caused me to freeze up. But in that situation you keep wondering if she was just spanking him on the butt, which is different than hitting bare legs. When I saw his legs, I knew. I should have just charged her at that point. 

SagaciousSighFiGurl (Mod) --- 6 years ago -

Well, it was in the bathroom, I couldn't see it but hearing it was no problem. I have problems being assertive and it caused me to freeze up. But in that situation you keep wondering if she was just spanking him on the butt, which is different than hitting bare legs. When I saw his legs, I knew. I should have just charged her at that point. 

them --- 6 years ago -

Do you have kids? 

Gigix4 --- 6 years ago -

My heart literally hurts when I see/hear a child being disciplined harshly.

I would probably have busted into that restroom and had an exchange of words. 

AMDG --- 6 years ago -

SSG - Give this number a call,

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

They have professional there that can advise if a call to CPS is the right thing to do. 

a889324uu --- 6 years ago -

Aren't people allowed (and often encouraged, both in TX and here on KU) to spank their children?

Regardless of whether or not you deem it "too harsh" I thought it was legal to assault your child.

I don't spank my children, by the way.

I do hear people say that it's OK so long as marks aren't left, so perhaps if a mark is left that's when people draw the line?

I should have just charged her at that point.

And potentially gotten into a fist fight with a woman who has no issue hitting an innocent child?

Well then... 

AwesomeTattooedDragon --- 6 years ago -

I think she meant charged (reported) her with the law- not like a bull- 

Gigix4 --- 6 years ago -

his legs were red with marks.

That's way over the line for a 2-3yr old. 

SagaciousSighFiGurl (Mod) --- 6 years ago -

Im on hold with CPS. 

a889324uu --- 6 years ago -

I think she meant charged (reported) her with the law- not like a bull-

Ah...hard to tell. Lots of people think violence is the way to quell violence.

That's way over the line for a 2-3yr old.

One would think physically assaulting any child would be way over the line, but it appears to be a sport for some people. 

Tera --- 6 years ago -

If you feel that the child is being abused, always report it. If you were wrong, no harm done. 

a889324uu --- 6 years ago -

If you were wrong, no harm done.

Are you serious? No harm done if someone is accused of child abuse?

You do know that people accused of abuse, unsubstantiated, have lost their jobs, friends, family, etc.

No harm done? Unbelievable. 

*LOL* --- 6 years ago -

One would think physically assaulting any child would be way over the line, but it appears to be a sport for some people.

I personally do not believe in hitting children. But the people I know who do, use it judicially for situations like running into the street or other spontaneous behavior, but in those cases it is always on the bottom and never that hard, just a quick swat.

But this case sounds much different. You read everyday that bathroom accidents are a common trigger for an angry parent or boyfriend, etc to punish a child to the point of the child dying from the abuse.

I can understand in the quickness of the moment the OP not knowing what to do or say. In this day age you get shot over it and a confrontation n the gym would not helped the child anyway. The caretaker or parent might just be sneakier next time. But a bathroom accident and a toddler is never IMO a punitive offense anyway.

Let the authorities know, put her on the radar, and hopefully they will at least make a home visit.

Not only is it the right thing to do, its the law whenever child abuse is suspected. 

Tera --- 6 years ago -

So we should just not report suspected child abuse? Thats a good idea. 

them --- 6 years ago -

Quote:
a889324uu --- 1 min ago - quote - hide comments
If you were wrong, no harm done.

Are you serious? No harm done if someone is accused of child abuse?

You do know that people accused of abuse, unsubstantiated, have lost their jobs, friends, family, etc.

No harm done? Unbelievable.  


Exactly. Considering my question about having children of her own went ignored, I'm assuming she has raised children before.

The OP has a history of jumping to conclusions and later admitting fault. Having never been a parent herself I don't trust her to draw a satisfactory conclusion on what she saw or heard. 

waterfall --- 6 years ago -

SiFi you seem like a reasonable person. If you are really uncomfortable with what you saw, you probably know that it's worth looking into.

I like AMDG's idea. That seems like the best place to start! 

Miss Understanding --- 6 years ago -

I think she meant charged (reported) her with the law- not like a bull-


LOL 

AwesomeTattooedDragon --- 6 years ago -

Tony, you really need to get over this obsession you have, with her. It just isn't healthy- 

Tera --- 6 years ago -

so if you are not a parent you can't report suspected abuse?? 

them --- 6 years ago -

ATD, regarding obsession, please refer to this thread:

http://kingwoodunderground.com/topic.jsp?topicId=11833672


Stop enabling narcissistic behavior. 

SagaciousSighFiGurl (Mod) --- 6 years ago -

I can not believe someone would troll this thread. You should be ashamed, but you wont.


Thanks to all of the rest of you for your concern. Report was made. I called the # AMDG posted and they directed me to make a CPS report. 

them --- 6 years ago -

Just be damn sure you know what you're doing. 

Tera --- 6 years ago -

Thanks to all of the rest of you for your concern. Report was made. I called the # AMDG posred and they directed me to make a CPS report.?



thank you. don't listen to the troll... 

sheddy --- 6 years ago -

I think the abuse started the minute the child wanted to go to the bathroom and she didn't take him. I'm sure he was well aware of what was going to happen to him if he had an accident. 

Zapper009 --- 6 years ago -

What a painful thread...hope the kid survives...jmho 

a889324uu --- 6 years ago -

So we should just not report suspected child abuse? Thats a good idea.

Who said that? No one said that.

YOU said if you report someone, and you were wrong, then "no harm done."

I disagree with that. Pretend like you are able to comprehend. 

a889324uu --- 6 years ago -

I think the abuse started the minute the child wanted to go to the bathroom and she didn't take him. I'm sure he was well aware of what was going to happen to him if he had an accident.

Yeah, I don't understand that mentality at ALL. It's not like they were sitting in traffic or in a situation that required "holding it" just a little bit longer.

Who doesn't take their toddler, who are known to be "accident" prone, to the bathroom?

Poor kid. 

*LOL* --- 6 years ago -

I think the abuse started the minute the child wanted to go to the bathroom and she didn't take him. I'm sure he was well aware of what was going to happen to him if he had an accident.

I think you are correct about that. Do we even know for certain that the young woman is the parent of the child? Could be anyone related or babysitting. At any rate, it sounds like the baby was set up for the beating. 

TinktheSprite --- 6 years ago -

Good call to CPS, SighFi. Keep us up to date. You have to trust your instincts in cases like these. My thoughts are if she was as loud and obvious in a public place to where you and anyone else could hear her, she has done worse at home in private.

The little boy gave her a warning. Potty training, while not the most fun experience, is all about parents heeding the warning. Then you smack YOURSELF on the head when there is an accident because YOU didn't heed the warning. Any grown adult would see that. Most parents would see that, as well.

Tell the CPS officer exactly what you told us here. Your gut instincts might save this child from further harm. 

SagaciousSighFiGurl (Mod) --- 6 years ago -

I have to agree that making a toddler wait to poop is in itself a sign she needs parenting skills education. THEN to make him wait til hes begging to go and then strike him physically for having an accident at that young age is all kinds of wrong. Not to mention leaving him alone in a public restroom at all and then for way too long.

Idk what will happen but im sure he is being mistreated. At least now, they will check on the little boy. 

Pixtor --- 6 years ago -

From what you described, it sounds like Mommy has some parenting issues that need addressing.

Hopefully a visit from CPS will be a wake-up call for her. 

AMDG --- 6 years ago -

Prayers to all involved - For both the child an the parent - hoping, if it was needed, that this is the first step in the right direction. That the child is safer, and that the mother understands and learns. And prayers to SSG - hard to do things like that, easier to just let it go. Sure you will worry about it - or worry that somehow she will piece it together who called. It takes courage to do the right thing sometimes. 

SagaciousSighFiGurl (Mod) --- 6 years ago -

Thanks, AMDG. Its is a weird position. 2016 is the year of courage!

I think after experiencing this, i can say me confronting her wouldnt have been the right thing. She obviously is not aware that she's abusive and hearing it from a stranger wouldnt probably have the impact CPS is going to have. I would have STILL needed to report her. 

AMDG --- 6 years ago -

IMO - These are serious situations, best to let the professionals handle them. 

Judas --- 6 years ago -

She obviously is not aware that she's abusive and hearing it from a stranger wouldnt probably have the impact CPS is going to have.


Agreed. 

Butterbean --- 6 years ago -

IMO, you done good, SSFI. 

Pixtor --- 6 years ago -

^^^ Agree ^^^ 

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